dutchster:

my favorite thing is when i get asked about my interests and i panic and start telling lies

View text
  • 13 hours ago
  • 4711

dutchster:

I want to be that guy who writes the short intro descriptions for porn videos

View text
  • 13 hours ago
  • 6598

wiredwhimsicalities:

me avoiding my responsibilities 

image

View text
  • 13 hours ago
  • 1436
  • doctor:sir we asked you to tape your allergic reactions this is just a video of you skateboarding
  • me:tell me thats not sick
  • doctor:haha yeah its pretty fucking sick dude
View chat
  • 13 hours ago
  • 54566
View photo
  • 13 hours ago
  • 123615

vampireweelcend:

*puts “never had a scene phase” on college application*

View text
  • 13 hours ago
  • 56033

rolan-pard:

“every time you post something online the entire world sees it”

yeah then explain to me why my post doesn’t have more notes

View text
  • 13 hours ago
  • 262986

How I would narrate the Olympics

  • me:he's doing some athletic shit
  • me:and omg look at that butt
View chat
  • 13 hours ago
  • 395975

fake-mermaid:

why can’t mosquitos suck out my fat instead

View text
  • 13 hours ago
  • 204933

yugiohslavic:

takin selfies with your friends like

image

View text
  • 13 hours ago
  • 222790
View photo
  • 13 hours ago
  • 14817
View photo
  • 13 hours ago
  • 295482
View photo
  • 13 hours ago
  • 187692

fatwink:

"so how is school going?"

image

View text
  • 13 hours ago
  • 219619
View photo
  • 13 hours ago
  • 223070
x